‘Confessions of a socially obligated fool’
How many of us here have felt we have been socially obligated to do something we didn’t want to at the time? You? Me? Our parents? Grandparents? Well, it’s a thing of the past. So many times we’ve heard our mothers come into our rooms on a Friday evening, informing you of her plans and how you are included in them. All this when you have already decided to chill the hell out after an exhausting week; probably order a pizza, a glass of wine and a RomCom. Try getting out of it and you’ll hear “jaana padega, acha nahi lagta“. Kisko? Dude, who cares? You do go but only to find out that your presence or no didn’t really matter. You decided never to give in to your mum’s demands then. Think now. How many times did you repeat the same mistake you swore you would never repeat. Why? Social Obligation.
What all have we done to be our social best! Had the best pictures on social networking sites (deleted the bad ones IMMEDIATELY when someone tagged us), never dressed inappropriately (I mean, if people still commented on the attire, there is nothing more I can say), made sure no one knew who my boyfriend was at the age of 18 (it was a social tabboo to agree when people asked you, “are you going out with so and so?”) even when the whole town knew what you were hiding. I mean, come on! Today, it’s all about attending each others gatherings, side cheek kisses and putting those photos up on Instagram and Facebook and before I forget, the ‘Western influenced’ attires!
Well this culture is the same in this part of the world as well. London is no different. Only difference, social obligation has joined hands with the power of money here. You got the red notes with the Queen imprinted on it, you will have the whose who knocking at your door to happily socialise and not feel obligated at all. You don’t have it, consider yourself lucky to keeping away from the fake cream of London. Daughter in-law’s social obligations are way higher than a daughter’s, but that is a discussion for next time.
PDA makes everyone happy. Period. But here the question arises, ‘kiss kiss ko pyaar karoon? Aur agar karoon, toh sabko kaise Facebook pe izhaar karun?’! So one day I decided to stop, ‘kissi ko mat kar yaar’. Hence reduced mental pressure. I admit over the years having done things just because it was obligatory for me, especially on social media. Ageing away and pleasing people? Tagging, wishing, write-ups just for the heck of it. For a few, my heart spoke out and for few only my mind did the needful. When you become socially indentured to do things you don’t want to, you become wish paralysed. NO MORE NOW.
So, my running year resolutes to dealing with it in a better way. I mean I am thirty (well almost) and Aastha is approaching thirty in a few years! ‘Ab nahi toh kab’? Finally, have decided to entertain my bucket list of dreams this time. Pleasing myself so that my carefree radiant life can unfurl the same happiness to the ones around me and not momentary smiles leaving my heart in shreds. Not ‘socially obligated’, ANYMORE!