Tag Archives: emagazine

Social Obligations

‘Confessions of a socially obligated fool’

reserve-social-room

 

How many of us here have felt we have been socially obligated to do something we didn’t want to at the time? You? Me? Our parents? Grandparents? Well, it’s a thing of the past. So many times we’ve heard our mothers come into our rooms on a Friday evening, informing you of her plans and how you are included in them. All this when you have already decided to chill the hell out after an exhausting week; probably order a pizza, a glass of wine and a RomCom. Try getting out of it and you’ll hear “jaana padega, acha nahi lagta“. Kisko? Dude, who cares? You do go but only to find out that your presence or no didn’t really matter. You decided never to give in to your mum’s demands then. Think now. How many times did you repeat the same mistake you swore you would never repeat. Why? Social Obligation.

What all have we done to be our social best! Had the best pictures on social networking sites (deleted the bad ones IMMEDIATELY when someone tagged us), never dressed inappropriately (I mean, if people still commented on the attire, there is nothing more I can say), made sure no one knew who my boyfriend was at the age of 18 (it was a social tabboo to agree when people asked you, “are you going out with so and so?”) even when the whole town knew what you were hiding. I mean, come on! Today, it’s all about attending each others gatherings, side cheek kisses and putting those photos up on Instagram and Facebook and before I forget, the ‘Western influenced’ attires!

Well this culture is the same in this part of the world as well. London is no different. Only difference, social obligation has joined hands with the power of money here. You got the red notes with the Queen imprinted on it, you will have the whose who knocking at your door to happily socialise and not feel obligated at all. You don’t have it, consider yourself lucky to keeping away from the fake cream of London. Daughter in-law’s social obligations are way higher than a daughter’s, but that is a discussion for next time.

PDA makes everyone happy. Period. But here the question arises, ‘kiss kiss ko pyaar karoon? Aur agar karoon, toh sabko kaise Facebook pe izhaar karun?’! So one day I decided to stop, ‘kissi ko mat kar yaar’. Hence reduced mental pressure. I admit over the years having done things just because it was obligatory for me, especially on social media. Ageing away and pleasing people? Tagging, wishing, write-ups just for the heck of it. For a few, my heart spoke out and for few only my mind did the needful. When you become socially indentured to do things you don’t want to, you become wish paralysed. NO MORE NOW.

So, my running year resolutes to dealing with it in a better way. I mean I am thirty (well almost) and Aastha is approaching thirty in a few years! ‘Ab nahi toh kab’? Finally, have decided to entertain my bucket list of dreams this time. Pleasing myself so that my carefree radiant life can unfurl the same happiness to the ones around me and not momentary smiles leaving my heart in shreds. Not ‘socially obligated’, ANYMORE!

Advertisements

Introducing, Candidly Caught!

You light up my overcast,
& keep the figments of that fondness in your heart,
While my Dreams  unlax on your homespun sheet
Wontedly I pour out & sleep,
& I wish if in this dead of night,
How I wish You were presence with essence & life,
And then agilely I wish again this could not be true,
I’d live pining for my onliest partner my unshared lifeless you,
I scribble you blue & fill you up with me,
Tried & true Your faith as sturdy as it can be,
Never you think things through ,
Dear diary, I confess of revelling in the intimacy I share with you.
The out-cold one who holds on the fierce waves of my ocean,
I reckon on no other, but you.

Life is a bitch. No, I am not going to put my ‘b’ word in asterix. Life is a fucking bitch. There, I said it! It is not easy to put out what you think and feel. More than half of us never do. And those who do are either columnists or writers who are always under ‘the’ scanner. We generally tend to keep it as a dialogue between our mind, conscience and heart, letting either of them win over to make the decisions we make. We don’t express our natural self, which is the biggest shame for a human like you and me. And why? We feel we get judged by many- society, family, sometimes your own husband/partner. And so the mind tells us to sometimes keep shut, for the best.

That makes me come to the point about why we are here? Well, Meghna and I come from a similar background and family structure. So much so that, we feel we are on the same boat as far as family life, social obligations and deep-rooted visions and feelings are concerned even when we live in different parts of the world. We thought, it would be interesting to mould the two worlds together which run on the same background. Eventually we then thought of creating a platform for people to come forward and share whatever is in their heart, assuming we are your closed diaries, which you always wished to come to life and never judged a single word of what you wrote in it. It takes a lot of courage to pick up a pen or type on your keyboard and pour your good or bad self out. We have gathered ours and are here to give you strength to come out.

Simply, what happens when one day you might want your diary/conscience to come alive because you had so much you wanted to share. But then that fear stopped you and you wished that never happens because your dark secrets, desires might get you judged by the most important people in your world.You maybe as transparent as water to your spouses/best friends but there is always a corner in your heart which no one knows about whilst you harbour it with deep care. And so we wanted to create this space as an answer to all your inner frustrations. You’re free to write ‘anonymously’ till whenever you feel comfortable to bring your real self out. You can comment, blabber, scream, shout, give one-liners, 2 paragraphs, 2 pages, we don’t care.

The ‘Candidly Caught’ is to bring the candid you out. Here, we talk about everything under the sun; from dreams to destinations, from travel to test of life, from recipes to fashion trends, from your winnings to the lessons learnt, practically, everything! You can agree to disagree, and engage in a healthy discussion, giving way to restoring freedom of speech, which seems to have been lost in our country.We would love to hear from you, offer solutions and sometimes probably just cry with you with similar situations.

Lets begin this happy healthy journey, which we hope will be full of laughter, decisions, solutions and secrets! Watch this space for more.

Yours lovingly,

Meghna and Aastha

P.S We are reachable at candidlycaught@gmail.com, Facebook page: Candidly Caught and of course at the blog. We should be available for live chat soon. But till then…