I have never been the kids coochy coo type Period. Albeit I was what we they conventionally call or at least I thought myself to be a full-fledged “grown up”, the idea of going to a place where kids were around made me anxious. Why did not god drop them straight all prim & sophisticated I once thought?
Four years back from now things changed significantly for me when I delivered. By bringing in a new life to this world I felt a phenomenal sense of power that by nature’s grace we women are blessed with. I saw my heart thumping outside my body and I knew life would never be same again. Once you have a baby all the pre-delivery pampering and Mr husband keeping with your midnight hunger pangs and the entire family going gaga over you looks like history. Guess what? It is your little marshmallow who happens to take away the whole of paparazzi leaving you with a nightmare that every woman dreads –“The Post-Delivery Fat”. I was blessed with some of the fabulous genes and got back into shape a little too soon but dealt with my bit of post-partum too. Apart from all this I was experiencing a great sense of completeness like never before and the answer to my inexplicable happiness was the one I was holding closely –“Our Little Piece Of Heart“.
But I realised being a mommy is much more than just looking good holding a cute little baby in your arms. There are a lot of sleepless nights, gut wrenching moments, at times it’s messy, annoying, and monotonous and yet you want to live every bit of it downright and happily. You learn to wear those stretch marks with utmost pride. It has been a perfect & not so perfect motherhood for me and I did encounter a self that I had not known ever. The less self-conceited, ever optimistic myself and also the perpetually paranoid, overtly possessive lioness who is utterly hopelessly obsessed with her offspring, undeniably this is what I had become & it was natural coz I had never held anyone so delicately tiny before. I was completely head over heels in love with him, “I still am”. Neither a lover nor a wife or a daughter but only a mother is capable of being so much & even more. Even I do not know the extent to which I can go to protect my baby. He has given me the courage to live this phase of life, has changed me inside out, softened me yet made me stronger, strong in way like never before yet left me so vulnerable.
Being a mother has changed my perception towards life. I have happily strived every day waking up to a better version of myself and I intend to do that all my life. We are growing together building little dreams with playing blocks. I am learning from him reviving my long forgotten innocence & teaching him the ways of living. I am celebrating my rebirth.
Four years back when love happened all over again I had a reason bigger to live.So,welcome aboard ladies “…its motherhood – another hood and if you are here you’re here for good…”